


bad bones for good souls

by livtontea



Series: call me darling [3]
Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Banter, Broken Bones, Idiots in Love, Lowercase, M/M, Minific, No Beta, Nonsense, Post-Season/Series 02, Tumblr Fic, dirk gently is a drama queen, excessive dramatics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-13 14:20:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28529847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/livtontea/pseuds/livtontea
Summary: todd plants a kiss on his forehead and pulls away before dirk can try anything. “i’ll get you some advil, you stupid piece of shit.”
Relationships: Todd Brotzman/Dirk Gently
Series: call me darling [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2088981
Comments: 11
Kudos: 30





	bad bones for good souls

**Author's Note:**

> this is a textbox fic crossposted from tumblr, and can be found [here.](https://farahblack.tumblr.com/post/639259036230057984/youre-horrible-moans-dirk-from-his-spot-on-the) i haven't broken any bones so if anything is inaccurate, fuck me i guess.

“you’re horrible,” moans dirk from his spot on the couch, reclined — more like flopped, dramatically — from arm to arm. his hand is covering his eyes like he’s a victorian maiden sprawled out on her fainting chaise. again — dramatically. todd has to laugh. dirk shoots him a glare from under his hand. “terrible, horrible, the absolute _worst.”_

“it’s not my fault,” says todd, biting back a grin.

“it is! it absolutely is. everything about my current—” dirk waves to his leg, which is covered in a conspicuous, painfully yellow cast, “ _—predicament,_ is yours to blame.” he pauses. “wait, no. to be blamed on you. you’re to blame! so, there.”

“it’s not my fault,” todd repeats, “that you jumped off of a balcony.”

"i was chasing a suspect! of course it’s your bloody fault, you were supposed to stop me! i’m not the one who’s supposed to have a smidgeon of common sense in extreme situations!”

todd bites his lip. dirk narrows his eyes and scowls. “do not laugh at me, theodore.”

“don’t call me theodore,” todd snaps back without any bite, “and don’t go around jumping from balconies.”

“it wasn’t even that high!”

“it was the second story. your leg is broken, dirk.”

“thank you, _captain obvious._ it wasn’t even that high! that’s so unfair, todd, it _wasn’t even that high,_ and my broken leg — that’s unfair. todd, i think my bones may be homophobic.”

todd splutters. dirk has a disgruntled expression on his face, one hand on his forehead palm-up, the other crossed over his chest. drama queen.

“what are you even talking about?” todd says, straight face discarded along with all efforts to maintain it, voice quivering with laughter, “you’re so full of bullshit.”

“well it’s premium shit,” declares dirk, and shuts his eyes. not four seconds later, he opens them again. dirk flaps his hand — the one on his face — in todd’s direction like a limp noodle, and todd reaches over and catches it because he’s a weak fool.

“todd,” dirk says, with the widest eyes and utmost urgency, “todd, my leg hurts.”

“and?”

“i think i’m dying, todd. if you don’t give me a pain reliever, like, now, i may — stop laughing at me, _todd_ — i may die. immediately.”

todd plants a kiss on his forehead and pulls away before dirk can try anything. “i’ll get you some advil, you stupid piece of shit.”

“stupid piece of shit that you _love!”_ dirk calls after him. and — well.

todd smirks. fuck yeah he does.

**Author's Note:**

> feedback is great for authors (me) so if you liked this please leave a comment/kudos! my tumblr's @farahblack and i post minifics to there before i transfer them to here. thanks for reading!


End file.
